Bachelor in Paradise Recap: “No One Falls In Love On A Horse”

sarah carly sad

Do they provide SPF in paradise, or are all of these people going to look 90 when they’re 42? (“Hi Grandma!” “I’m not your grandma, I’m your mom.”)

We left off with Evan standing on a cliff’s edge, trying to be talked down by a suicide negotiator. Okay technically he was on his way to pull Amanda away from Josh, but those two activities are sort of one in the same to me.

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Bachelor in Paradise Recap: “Josh Has A Steady Diet Of Amanda’s Tongue”

amanda josh make out bachelor in paradise

I’m gonna be honest with you noodles, the relief I felt when I saw that Tuesday nights are going to be hour-long episodes instead of two is FOR REAL. Like yes, my goofy ass eats this shit up but at some point you gotta give a bitch a break. I need some SPACE, Bachelor in Paradise.

So Josh and Amanda are still making out all over the place, I assume only taking breaks when one of them misses their own reflection in a mirror and needs to go visit themselves for a bit.

Nick is salty as hell about it, but basically it’s distracting for everyone.

everybody watching

Christian shows up and Josh immediately tells him that he and Amanda have a connection so he can fuck off with any notion he had about dating her. Please picture me giving a HUGE EYE ROLL. Here is Josh’s stupid face as he says that stupid shit:

josh asshole bachelor in paradise

Get. Over. Yourself.

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