I Wrote My Own Gilmore Girls Revival Script, And This One Has Aliens

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 12.02.18 PMAs a huge Gilmore Girls fan, this was a labor of love (and silliness). I hope you all enjoy Gilmore Girls: “Aliens Attack Stars Hollow!”

And in case you need to know where I stand personally, Jess > Logan > Dean > Marty > Paul From The Actual Revival > Guy Who Rejected Rory In The Laundry Room at Yale.

Oh, and Luke > Max Medina > Alex The Coffee Enthusiast > Christopher > Gross Guy Who Hits On Lorelai in the Pilot Episode > Jason Styles.

In omnia paratus!

After The Final Rose recap: “So Stupid.”

If I were wearing a Bachelor mood ring right now, I’m guessing it would say I’m feeling very MEH. That’s a mood, right? I think the color is citron. MEH in the sense that I’m angry at Arie, I’m angry at Chris Harrison, and I’m angry at ABC.

So Chris Harrison stands here in front of an audience and says he’s still trying to process the finale, and I’m just so mad at him! Oh, you’re trying to process that super fucked up thing you did, where you tricked someone and aired it on TV? K. Take all the fucking time you need.

becca crying after the final rose

We kick things off by of course reliving the sinking ship that was this season, in particular Monday night’s finale when Arie proposed to Becca then ground her heart up into tiny particles so small that you can’t even see them with the naked eye.

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The Bachelor recap: “If Arie Proposed To Me Today I’d Say No”

Night two of this shit show, huh?! If you asked me where my life is going, I’d probably be required to say, “Straight to ABC!” because that is how much dedication it takes to be invested in this fucking Bachelor WORLD, ya know?

We’re in Peru for the fantasy suite dates, where he meets Kendall in the middle of absolutely nowhere.

kendall arie desert.JPG

Hope you don’t have to pee, babe.

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The Bachelor recap: “What Did You Fly When You Flew?”’

arie kendall lemonade love.JPG

Guys, let me break down the scene in my living room. We’ve got regulars Ciara and Jordan. But today we’ve also got Katie, and Jordan’s boyfriend Charlie. We’ve got energy balls, which are depleting rapidly. We’ve got wine! We’ve got SHRMP MOTHERFUCKING COCKTAIL! So why all this pomp and circumstance, you ask? Because this episode is HOMETOWNZ, and last year around this time Rachel was visiting Dean’s dad, and Dean was just writhing around on the floor in a tiny ball while his father served everybody mung beans. It’s a fun episode, okay?! My watch party is big this week.

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