sam jarvis
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An Open Letter To The Wax Figure of Sofia Vergara
By Sam Jarvis Dear Wax Figure of Sofia Vergara, Thank you for taking the time to read this, even though you are made of wax so I assume you are illiterate. It’s still kind of you to maintain aggressive eye contact with this piece of paper as I hold it mere inches in front of your…
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The Bachelor Recap: “We Woke Up As A Couple.”
Hope you stuffed a granola bar in your pocket, ‘cause this emotional roller coaster is about to get stuck at the top of a huge ass drop. I’m sweating already. We’re in Jamaica for the FANTASY DATES, and Ben is doin’ a lot of thinking before he sees these women. He’s also climbing what I can only…
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The Bachelor Recap: “I Was Like, Meant To Meet Ben.”
Bringing a guy home to meet your family is cool until four seconds after you walk in the front door. Then everyone starts being so them and it’s like eeeee we should get going! Amanda gets the first hometown date, and we know it’s going to be all about dem tiny tots. It’s pretty presh, except…
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