When Someone Asks How I’m Doing On My Diet May 15, 2017May 15, 2017Leave a comment MIND YA BUSINESS, YOU GIANT TALKING SLICE OF WHITE BREAD. [via]
When You Want To Sneak In Somewhere But End Up Making A Shit Ton Of Noise October 20, 2016October 20, 2016Leave a comment “What was that?” “A hundred pots and pans crashing to the ground?” [via]
When Someone Compliments My Eyebrows June 29, 2016June 29, 2016Leave a comment I just wanna look good for ya.
When Something Rings Up For Less Than You Thought June 27, 2016June 27, 2016Leave a comment Basic tanks for all!
When You Order Mozzarella Sticks At A Bar And They Say The Kitchen’s Closed March 9, 2016March 9, 2016Leave a comment I’ll just have another rosé then. With a straw.