The Golden Age

December 6, 2017Leave a comment

TV show idea: like Friends, except as they get older everyone slowly drifts apart.

— Sam Jarvis (@whoisSamJarvis) December 1, 2017

The best kind of humor is one that also makes you sad!

Words Of The Day

December 2, 2016Leave a comment

Girls may have a lot of shoes, but you'd be surprised how many pairs we go through stepping over the bullshit you put in front of us.

— Sam Jarvis (@whoisSamJarvis) December 2, 2016

PREACH, SAM!! (Sam is me.)

Movie Description For The Win

October 18, 2016October 18, 2016Leave a comment

Beethoven is a movie about a vet who steals dogs so he can test guns on them by shooting them in their big dog skulls. It is rated PG.

— Beethoven Tweets (@Beethoven1992) October 18, 2016

Honestly horrifying, when you think about it.

[via Beethoven Tweets]

Me After Writing A Great Tweet:

August 23, 2016August 23, 2016Leave a comment

I’m also HUMBLE.

Life’s Hard Sometimes

August 15, 2016August 15, 2016Leave a comment

UPDATE: still hasn’t.

Things To Think About

August 12, 2016August 12, 2016Leave a comment

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Counterpoint: Do people who wear cardigans do drugs?

[via]

Friends Support Each Other (On Social Media)

April 18, 2016April 18, 2016Leave a comment

I LOVE YOU NATALIE DON’T EVER CHANGE.

March Madness

March 17, 2016March 17, 2016Leave a comment

"Welp, my bracket's busted!" -Me at the orthodontist

— Sam Jarvis (@whoisSamJarvis) March 17, 2016

NAILED IT.

The Funniest Tweet I’ve Ever Read

December 16, 2015December 16, 2015Leave a comment

"Well that's showbiz!" I say, desperately pointing to a dusty old hose and praying this time I've guessed right.

— Ted Travelstead (@trumpetcake) August 16, 2015

I don’t know why. I don’t know how. But EVERY. TIME I read this tweet I laugh until I am crying. If I even think about it, a huge smile spreads across my face and I start giggling uncontrollably.

Follow Ted on Twitter. Follow me on Twitter! Follow everyone on Twitter.