My advice is nothing if not completely useless.
[via]
By Sam Jarvis
Out of dry shampoo.
Amazon Prime takes two days
But I need it now.
What to have for lunch?
Something healthy or yummy?
I guess I’ll eat carbs.
Gel manicure chipped
So I sit here picking them.
Now they look awful.
A boy is en route,
I guess I will shower now.
I don’t feel like it.
I want some rosé.
The fridge is barren and sad
Who will bring me some?
Read more from my strange mind here.
Turns out guys like lingerie fashion shows. #themoreyouknow