Now your dog can double as a babysitter! Like the one from Peter Pan.
By Sam Jarvis
Come one, come all, to the greatest attraction you’ve ever seen! All of the wonder and magic you could possibly imagine, with the greatest talent in the world! Introducing, for the first time on stage, spotlight please, drumroll… The woman who juggles!
In one hand she has her sick mother! She needs constant care and still has a house full of old yearbooks and crap to sort through! They’ve never been close, but now that she’s dying that doesn’t matter and she has to handle everything her mother is leaving behind!
In the other hand is her dream job that took her six years to get! The hours are long but eventually she might be happy! If only her evil boss Ted would cut her some fucking slack once in awhile everything would be good but of course he doesn’t so her dream job is quickly becoming her worst nightmare! Does she even want to work in this profession anymore? Who knows! Life is hard!
And up, way up in the air, is her serious boyfriend who is ready to settle down, boy he’s really flying up there! Even though there is a lot going on in her life he wants to get married and have babies as soon as possible!!
Can she fling her almost dead mother into the air just as her future husband comes crashing down to the hand that holds her dream job? We’ll see! Gather in the center tent, ladies and gentlemen, for the most thrilling show of the season!
Read more of my short humor pieces here.
JUST GRAB THE PICKLES AND LET’S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.