I’m going to take this time to let you all know that on my deathbed, I would really love it if someone would blast the Bachelor in Paradise theme song, morning to night, up until my last breath. Like, I want everyone sobbing as I mouth, “ALMOST PARADISE, WE’RE KNOCKING ON HEAVEN’S DOOR. ALMOST PARADISE, HOW COULD WE ASK FOR MORE? I SWEAR THAT I CAN SEE FOREVER IN YOUR EYES… PARADISE.”
But that won’t be for another 70 years, so let’s focus on today. Continue reading
I know you guys SAY the Olympics are cool, but if Chris Harrison isn’t hosting them I’m really not interested. (“What an incredible journey… of swimming laps in a pool.” –Chris at the Olympics)
We kick things off with a few new cast intros, which include Lace in all her elegance.
Meanwhile Chad’s in what I like to call the See Ya Never Van, drinking like a god damn fish while everybody else sits in the sand talking about that time he said he was going to murder everyone’s family.
who is sam jarvis 