Spice up your eye, spice up your life.
One Word To Describe Yourself
When Someone Talks About Salads
Call me when you want to discuss pizza rolls.
Blonde Me
GLORIOUS.
Bachelor in Paradise Recap: “She’s A Backstabbing Whore Of A Friend”
Real talk, when I came home last night from a long ass hair appointment all I wanted in the whole wide world was to watch this shit. And because there is no God, my DVR only recorded TWO MINUTES of CHOPPY ASS footage. Le sigh. I tell you kind souls this because I was forced to watch it on Hulu this morning and my screenshot game has been seriously compromised. So if you’re reading this going, “Ugh, Sam, not your best” know that I KNOW THAT ALREADY so kindly fuck off. Now! Where were we?!
When Someone Says I Should Work Out
At least I was the last time I checked?? Many years ago?
Mood
[via]
Bachelor in Paradise Recap: “No One Falls In Love On A Horse”
Do they provide SPF in paradise, or are all of these people going to look 90 when they’re 42? (“Hi Grandma!” “I’m not your grandma, I’m your mom.”)
We left off with Evan standing on a cliff’s edge, trying to be talked down by a suicide negotiator. Okay technically he was on his way to pull Amanda away from Josh, but those two activities are sort of one in the same to me.
When Your Bestie Wants To Get Her Lips Done
What about preventative Botox? Is that fine?
Life Of A Sloth
My pretend book of selfies hits the fictional shelves of my mind September 23rd.
who is sam jarvis 