Look What I Found On The Internet

January 12, 2017January 12, 2017Leave a comment

<<sips coffee, smiles>>

[original via JefferonSoes]

I Enjoy This Photo

January 11, 2017January 11, 2017Leave a comment

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Werk!!

Trying To Decide If I’m Ordering More Sushi

January 10, 2017January 10, 2017Leave a comment

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The albacore was good tonight, I could eat another one of those…

[via]

When They’re Out Of Chocolate Frosted Donuts

January 10, 2017January 10, 2017Leave a comment

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I fucking DARE YOU to be out of long johns.

[via]

Mood

January 10, 2017January 10, 2017Leave a comment

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<<violently taps more glitter onto eyelids>>

[via]

The Bachelor recap: “He Held My Boobs, Okay?”

January 10, 2017January 10, 20171 Comment

Look I’m gonna be real, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning yesterday, went to work, EXERCISED, worked on my writing, made dinner (jk I watched my boyfriend do it), and then READ A BOOK so by the time Nick Viall graced my god damn television screen for a new episode I was practically crying over such a sweet reward for a day well done.

I know I should’ve put that in a fucking diary but YOU GUYS ARE MY DIARY!! Just soak it in, accept it. Anyway the girls are excited about the dates this week, especially Sarah, who is making a face like a brunch waitress is refilling her bottomless mimosa.

The first group date features no fewer than one thousand women, and they will all be modeling wedding gowns in a photo shoot with Nick. Except some of the girls will actually just have to be bridesmaids. LOL! Some producer with weak-at-best personal relationships is cackling from their office as we speak going, “God dammit that was a great idea. These bitches will flip out!”

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Back To Work!

January 9, 2017January 9, 2017Leave a comment

early-alarm-kill-me

FAAAAAAAAK.

Wait, What?

January 9, 2017January 9, 2017Leave a comment

ryan-gosling-canadian We really are in the information age!

Golden Globes 2017: La La Land and Hidden Fences?

January 9, 2017January 9, 20171 Comment

Nothing screams Golden Globes like Sam Jarvis sitting on her couch with a whiskey, wondering where the fuck she went wrong. (If you’re already opening a new tab to Google Sam Jarvis, it’s me, guys, I’m talking about myself.)

We jump right into the award season action with a parody of La La Land, which is cute but a complete waste of Justin Timberlake. If he’s not going sing or dance, why did you show him to me? Jimmy Fallon, always a cock tease. What we do get a lot of, are close-up shots of Fallon’s fucked up finger that he ALLEGEDLY broke while bombed on the hooch.