Crinkled up in my purse somewhere?? Long gone in the trash?! I swear to god if they only give me store credit…
Tag: fail
When Someone Compliments My New Haircut
It’s gonna grow our super nice though. I just know it.
When You Accidentally Text The Person You Were Talking About
I obviously meant god damn bitch in like, a loving way.
When My Food Comes With A Side Salad Instead Of Fries
When Someone Asks If I Finished Their Dessert While They Were In the Bathroom
It was the best last bite of tiramisu in the world. It was huge!
When My Boyfriend Tries To Help Me Eat Better
“I CHANGED MY MIND, I WANT TO DIE OF HEART DISEASE INSTEAD.” -Me
The Bachelor recap: “I’ll Hate You If You Break Her Heart”
GUYS!! HOMETOWNS!! Let me start by saying that the thought of my parents sitting in a bachelor confessional talking about the love I have for a person I have known for six weeks is HIGHLY SUSPECT, but I love me a good fucking hometown so LET US BEGIN.
We left off in Bimini with Christina’s ass being sent home. The girls are all shook as hell, and when Nick comes to talk to them about what’s happening, Corinne literally can’t even.
who is sam jarvis 