Thermos Theory

Being a kid is all about being mortified that you have a thermos.

Which doesn’t even make sense, because that’s just how you transport mac and cheese. There’s no better way to do it. But because you’re a kid and everything about school is a battle with your own embarrassment, you could not be more distressed about having a thermos. People can SEE it. They KNOW you have one. You want to die.

I brought this up with someone recently, and you know what he said?

“I used to be super embarrassed about my cooler.”

I don’t know what is it about temperature-preserving lunch accessories, but my God. They scarred us all.

On Olives

I don’t like olives. Which also means I don’t like blue cheese stuffed olives. “What?! You’re crazy! They’re delicious!” I feel like they should be called vomit stuffed oh-my-god-I-wish-this-was-a-grape.

Redeeming quality: olive oil. Would like to bathe in it.