I’m rocking a green jumpsuit these days.
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Spoiler Alert
Way to ruin all 7 books, Corey.
When Someone Has Their Read Receipts On
What the WHAT?!
How Was The KUWTK Premiere?
<<shrugs, peels off gel manicure>>
Thought Of You!
You can just put Sam “Cheesy Gordita Crunch” Jarvis on my headstone. Thanks.
When Your Friend Asks If She Should Come Over
I make no excuses for my behavior.
When Your Bestie From High School Starts A Text With…
She could honestly be typing ANYTHING. Buckle your seat belts.
Kiddo Dresses Herself
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS.
The Witching Hour
Do you not send your best friend weird videos while you walk home in the dark? Hm.
Live-Texting Real Housewives
Highlights from our exchange include, “They’re at the Beverly Hills SoulCycle” and “Eileen’s highlights. They are so chunky.”
who is sam jarvis 