
Don’t even fucking SAY THAT.
[via]

“Oh my God, I came up with the PERFECT, WITTY name for this jacket!!” -Someone who should be fired
“And I picked out the BEST model for it!!” -Another person who should be fired

Maybe spend less time coming up with witty texts and more time GETTING MY FOOD TO ME ON TIME, KIDS.
(I am the most me when I’m hungry.)

<<stares intensely at salsa through tupperware, sheds single tear>>