PREACH, SAM!! (Sam is me.)
Me At Olive Garden
Pass me a breadstick, I need a neck pillow.
When You Finish A Story With “Boy, Bye”
When You’re Overwhelmed At Work
Omg what do I do first, respond to this email, respond to the other email, make that phone call or yes. That’s it. Make a turkey sandwich.
[via]
Note To Self
Dream Man
When Someone Compliments Your New Sneaks
Get your own pair. Except don’t copy me.
When You Want A Bite Of Your Man’s Food And You’re Sexy As Fuck
When Your Friend Is A Doctor
“What is this strange lump on my arm?!”
“Your elbow.”
Spoiler Alert
SHE AND JESS DON’T EVEN KISS??????????
WHY THE FUCK IS LOGAN MARRYING SOME BITCH NAMED ODETTE????
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY. YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO’S TOO COOL TO COME BACK FOR THE REVIVAL? YA RIGHT.
<<pours a whiskey, eats a Pop Tart>>
who is sam jarvis 