I may not be the “pick you up from the airport” friend, but I am the “find me dogs” friend.
Jalen Santoy – Foreplay
All I know is they were allowed to go to Cabo for spring break and I was SO JEALOUS.
You’re all dead to me baiiiiii.
I obviously meant god damn bitch in like, a loving way.
HOLD MY BEER.
To the mall, to pick out a Tony’s dress!
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Let me start this Bachelor in Paradise finale with a little preamble (“More like a pre-RAMBLE!”–You guys). I need to shout out my friend Desiree and give her a formal very public THANK YOU because this bitch texted me earlier today and was like, “IT’S THE FINALE TONIGHT BUT WHAT THE FUCK IT SAYS THERE’S AN NFL GAME ON??!” I’m paraphrasing her exact words, but you get my point. So I go into full blown panic mode until I can find what god damn channel this shit is playing on and you know what? It WASN’T SET TO RECORD on the new channel. I mean, whoa, guys. WHOA. That was close.
So back in paradise, Chris Harrison has just informed everyone that it’s their last day here and if they don’t see a real relationship with someone they should probably GTFO. Also Robby’s tank top is real, real bad.
IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!